The light in his eyes is gone . . .

Today we met with the neurologist once again. Claude was recently diagnosed with FTD (Frontal Temporal Dementia) after losing his job for erratic behavior and then continued erratic behavior for months. It has been devastating for our family to watch the once amazing and loving husband, father and grandfather decline and change in front of our eyes. Today he got another blow (but we knew it was coming). The doctor told him he could no longer drive . . . . This means not only giving up driving cars but giving up riding his motorcycle which he loves dearly. My husband argued with the doctor saying he was fine, a good driver and just was a little forgetful. The doctor very gently but firmly told him he could no longer drive for his safety and the safety of others. He then told my husband he was reporting it to the DMV and his license would be suspended. It broke my heart to see the sadness in his eyes. It took everything I had to hold back the tears. I feel sad and then mad and then guilty and then sad again. But I have to be strong and not let him see my sadness. It's all just so much work and so draining. He is still young and we had so many plans. This is just another part of his independence being taken away. It just isn't fair. This disease is absolutely hideous!

On the way home from the doctors office our daughter Nicole talked to him more about what the doctor had said but he was defiant and said he was going to drive. Our son Jonathon called him later just to say hi and see if he would mention what the doctor had said. To our surprise, he told our son that the doctor said he couldn't drive and then told our son he was still going to drive anyway. Of course, then Jonathon explained once again all the reasons his dad could not drive.

When I got home from running errands I told my husband that I would take him on a drive every day in the country, and, that we would turn the music up full blast, roll down the windows and speed. He had a huge smile and then said to me "really"? I responded with "yes"! So this will be our little date every day that I can. . . . .a ride in the country! It's all about making more memories when we can and making the best out of what we have been dealt. Just 38 years ago when I said "I do" I said for better or worse and I meant it. Hugs and prayers. . . . Rhonda