Stop the roller coaster . . . I want to get off!

My husband Claude has been diagnosed with FTD (Frontal Temporal Degeneration) by a neurologist. I have done a lot of research on line, talked to others on this site and of course spoken to medical professionals. I know some of you have read my previous posts and know a bit of our journey. I wanted to list some of my husbands behaviors so that we (others who have a loved one with FTD) could discuss and maybe try to help each gain a better understanding of this terrible disease.

I want to preface this by letting you know that before this disease my husband was gentle, kind, loving, a wonderful husband, father and grandfather. We have been together for 40 years. He was my best friend. He was highly professional and had a job with the FAA. He also attended church and our faith has always been strong, He went to all his 5 grandkids sports and school activities . . . . And then one day he lost his job due to erratic behavior.

Early behavioral changes (when we first started to notice after the loss of his job 15 months ago).

Started being forgetful
Was easily angered
Seemed confused at times
Started being really stubborn
Was hard to reason with
Would comment on how he was having trouble remembering
Couldn't remember friends and acquaintances at times and/or events
Change in personality and mood, seemed depressed
Started being self centered
Started withdrawing from friends and anything social
Started showing signs of poor judgment (like diving in shallow end of pool)


About 6 months ago (along with the above):

Started having outbursts
Was aggressive in behavior
Very easily Angered
Started giving me dirty looks
Became even more stubborn
Started getting words mixed up
Was repetitious in his actions
Had no filter
Showed no empathy seemed cold
Unwilling to talk or gives one word answers
Started being unsocial
Started saying he was going to win a million dollars
Gullible believing he was really going to win a million dollars
Stopped going to church with me


Now (along with most of the above):
At this point the neurologist has pulled his drivers licenses

He sleeps a lot
Gets up during the night
Non stop eating of sweets
Whispers or talks really low and soft
Plays music and TV full blown blasting the volume
No affection or emotion shown at all
Everything is all about him "mine" (is his favorite word)
Slurs his words at times
Complete stubbornness and extremely unreasonable
Watches TV all day long (some shows over and over)
Is completely unsocial
Is completely in denial of anything being wrong
Gets mad really easy (scary)

Such a roller coaster ride . . . never know what I will be dealing with day to day. The unknown scares me. I feel like it is going really fast and that scares me. I feel like I am living with a stranger. Even though I have great support in friends and family I still feel alone. I feel like I have lost my best friend. Do any of you have any thoughts or comments or similar situations. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and sometimes on his really bad and mean days) I truly don't think I will be able to endure. I also feel like it is going really fast. Remember together we are better.

Hugs and prayers always,