Somebody push me out of this boat!

It's so hard and I really don't want to have my husband around anyone. I am a nervous wreck when I do. . . .   Today I took my husband to the orthopedic for his back and knees. This was just the first of four doctor appointments this week. He also has an appointment with his regular doctor and his neurologist as well. It is really hard to take him out because I never know what he will say or do. He is 61 and one thing I have noticed is that when an older person acts irrational or shows the symptoms of Alzheimer's people just chalk it up to their age or dementia in older folks. But, when someone Claude's age (60ish) shows this behavior, people just think their crazy.  Today, at his doctors appt. he first gets really impatient waiting in the doctors office (maybe 10 minutes) then when they call us in to the exam room, he turns on the music on his cellphone. When I say "hey sweetie, this is a doctors office and they are trying to work could you please turn that off for now"? He gives me a really dirty look, turns the music up and yells "I like Music"! So, I just ignore it (again) and hope the doctor got the note I slipped his nurse about my husband having a brain disease. Then as we are leaving he try's to crush the doctors hand with a handshake (he has always been strong but a gentle giant until this mess). All of this after I have worked at my job for four hours, come home to laundry and dishes, etc. I am exhausted . . . . but it is more of an emotional exhaustion. He is not to the point where I can take his phone (the thing is always in his hand). He has been letting me drive more. Many times he is in the family room with the TV BLASTING. I always have to come into the bedroom because I can not handle the extreme volume. It is not the forgetfulness that is hard... it is the change of personality, paranoia and being so unreasonable that I can't handle. And the worst part is . . . . This Is Only The Beginning.  They say that God never gives you more than you can handle . . .but this time he did!  He was such an amazing, loving and wonderful man before all this.  I don't want to be in this boat anymore so Please, someone, push me out! You have to find some humor in this journey and it helps . . . .