Has He Forgotten He Loves Me???

I am once again on here asking for help and advice and hopefully someday I will be able to offer some words of advice to someone.


There are some good days and the bad days are becoming more frequent. He gets angry, is stubborn and totally unreasonable. Sometimes he looks at me with this look . . . .  that it breaks my heart. I have to walk away, bite my tongue and just go into my room and cry. I constantly remind myself that it is the disease not my husband but then I am reminded that it will only get worse.

 Lately, he mainly just watches TV and listens to music. But the volume IS ALL THE WAY UP. He is actually obsessed with "his Music" as he calls it (everything is "mine, mine, mine with him). We go into a place of business, any place, it could be the bank or doctors office and he pulls out his phone and turns on the music. If I ask him to turn it off or lower it, he turns it up louder. Some of you might say take his phone away. Believe me I have tried, but, I can't get that thing away from him (it's always in his hand). I have thought about having him use ear buds or a head set next time we go to the doctors. When he is in the car the music is always BLARING LOUD and even if we are swimming with the grandkids in the back yard he has to have the music BLARING LOUD. He gets mad and glares at me and says "I like my music" if I ask him to turn it down. I have tried telling him that the neighbors may not appreciate the loud music and he says "I don't care"! The grandkids who love loud music don't even want to be around him or in the car because the music hurts their ears.

I am just at a loss of how to deal with him and his temperament. I am still seeing a counselor and have read the "36 hour day" and done tons of online research.  I have read that music sooths them and that it helps with the constant buzzing in their head, and I totally understand that . . . but when it is unbearable for everyone around including neighbors, I am just at a loss once again.

Somehow, someway I will be able to get through this . . . . . This isn't fair and I wonder if he remembers what we had, what we were and that he loves me . . . .